A Midsummer Night's Storm
by Pearlinprocess
Summary: Zim stays over at Dib's house to avoid a lightning storm. The fic begins and ends with Zim and Dib dying horribly, but it's a pretty sweet ride in between. ZADR fluff and PW(very little)P. Please review!


(( Author's Notes: This is a one-shot ZADR mini-fic, pretty much a PW(very little)P. It does have a few similarities to my other ZADR fic, "Beyond the Stars", but they're not connected. Hope you enjoy, and if you do, please review~ ^^ ))

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The little green man pointed his most powerful laser gun, set to Over-Kill, at the human's big, stupid head.

The human aimed his pistol at the heart of his galactic rival. He'd been waiting for this moment all of his short life...

They both fired at the same time. The human's head exploded blood and brain matter, slumping to his knees and onto his chest. The alien spurted green fluids from his chest and was knocked onto his back from the force of the bullet. He raised his skinny green hand feebly, until the last of his life finally left him, and he finally went limp on the muddy, blood-soaked ground...

"Ugh, another draw? Lame!" Dib tossed away his game controller in frustration and grabbed another slice of pizza from the open box on the coffee table.

Zim followed suit in tossing his controller aside, avoiding the smelly, extra-meat pizza Dib's terrifying sororal unit had insisted on. Zim wasn't strictly vegan, but he couldn't stand the processed puppie-ronis and soosages that the Gaz-beast was so fond of. They'd gotten half with just cheese, but that had already been consumed. Zim's plate contained the cheese he'd scraped off - He only cared for the crust and the sauce.

"Yeah," The Irken agreed, nibbling on the last of some leftover crust. "But at least the graphics are pretty good. Nowhere near as realistic as Irken Simulators, but you humans have succeeded in making a half-decent toy, at least."

It was the last month of their senior year at high school. Zim and Dib still quarreled often, but they had set aside their desire to destroy each other years ago, and by now they actually spent more time hanging out like real friends instead of trying to conquer or thwart each other. Dib's eighteenth birthday had been a couple weeks ago, and they were playing the video game he'd gotten for it - A shooter with humans versus aliens.

"Well, I'm bored with it now. Let's watch some TV instead." Dib suggested, reaching for the remote with greasy pizza hands and flipping some channels until he found an acceptable rerun of 'Bigfoot Whisperers'.

His father was at work, per usual, and Gaz had retired to her room shortly before, so it was just them on the couch, pretending to be ignoring each other's presence. They'd been pretending to ignore several things about each other for a while now. Dib had been ignoring the way Zim propped up his legs on the spot Gaz had been occupying between them until she left, and then he'd immediately taken over the space as if he owned it.

Zim's legs, like the rest of him, had grown just a little bit taller over the years. He was still short enough to be mistaken for a child by some, but he was just barely tall enough for it to be believable that he was an adult. Those slender legs were wrapped in his form-fitting black pants as they usually were, but Zim had left his boots at the door, as had Dib. Gaz was insisting they do that now, and they weren't about to defy her for the sake of cold feet.

Dib would occasionally peek over at the two, cloven toes on each green foot. There was a time when Dib would have jumped at the chance to take a picture of those feet to use as evidence, but he wasn't quite that weird and obsessive anymore. Well, he was still weird and obsessive, but not about the same things.

Zim, on the other hand, flat-out refused to acknowledge, even and especially to himself, how jealous he was of Dib's incredible height increase. The human was well over six feet tall now, maybe even as tall as the Tallest themselves. It wasn't especially impressive since he was a human, but Zim definitely did take notice of it. He also took notice of how Dib's chest had gotten broader and how his body had gotten hairier in many new places. The human seemed to prefer to shave away the hair that grew on his face though. Not that Zim cared, but he did agree that it looked better like that.

Halfway through the episode, the sound of rain dripping on the roof suddenly sounded off. Only a few minutes later, it had turned into a downpour. Suddenly the episode turned off and a news bulletin took over the television.

A man in a suit with tidy, white hair shuffled papers as he addressed them, "We interrupt your scheduled program for a special announcement. It seems a freak storm has brewed up in our little neck of the woods. There are flash flood warnings for the following areas..."

They weren't in one of the flash flood warning zones, but they were right next to two of them. Zim watched with no small amount of worry as he realized the danger, but he haughtily tried to hide his fear. "Well! I guess I should head back home before the rain gets any worse..."

"Are you sure?" Dib asked with a raised brow. "It sounds kinda bad out there..."

"Feh! Zim brought an umbrelly, silly human." The alien replied dismissively, retrieving the red and black striped umbrella from the stand next to the door, as well as his shoes, before opening the door.

The rain was now coming down in buckets. Zim stopped at the edge of the doorway, staring with wide, nervous eyes.

Dib smirked and snorted as he stopped behind the shorter alien. "Zim, that umbrella isn't going to do shit in this kind of weather..."

Zim growled back at him stubbornly. "You just watch how much 'shit' it will do, human stink!"

Opening the umbrella and holding it over his head, Zim eventually mustered the will to step outside of the Membrane abode. But the second he did, an especially strong gust of wind took over the umbrella, blowing it inside-out and rendering it completely useless.

Zim still struggled with it for a few seconds, trying and failing to ignore the stinging pain of the raindrops pelting down on his skin. But then he abruptly let go of the useless tool as a flash of lightning struck down in the near distance, causing the alien to stare in shock, until the sharp and extremely loud crack of thunder followed almost immediately after.

"AAAAH!" The poor little green guy screeched, running back in through the still-open door. Dib closed it behind him and locked it, rolling his eyes.

"Told you." The human piped up smugly.

"What the HELL was that?!" Zim snapped at him, shaking like a leaf. Dib knew then that the alien really was shaken up - He almost never used Earth-curses.

"What, you've never seen lightning before?" Dib guessed. They didn't get storms around these parts especially often, especially since the area had been under a drought for a few years. They'd gotten a handful of rainy days every year, but this was the first storm with real thunder and lightning Dib had seen since he was a little kid.

"Light-ning?! Is that what you call DEADLY ELECTRICITY crashing down from the sky onto your DOOMED HEADS?!"

"...Uh. Yeah." Dib replied in a bored tone.

Zim calmed himself for a brief moment. "Oh. Well no, I have never seen lightning before."

A rolling rumble of thunder sounded off and the skittish alien ducked behind Dib's back, clutching the sides of his shirt. "WHAT IS THAT MONSTROUS NOISE?!

"It's just thunder, Zim. It's the sound that comes after the lightning." The human explained patiently. "Look, it's okay if you stay here tonight. In fact, I really insist on it. You'll catch your death out there."

It was just an expression, but Zim took it literally. If the lightning didn't fry him to death, then the chemical-laden rain would surely erode the skin off his bones before he managed to get home. He had no choice but to stay with the Dib tonight, not that he was really that against the idea.

"Here, just chill out and I'll find you some dry clothes and a blanket." Dib went on to offer, leaving the alien behind as he marched upstairs, heading for the laundry room.

Zim waited for him for a moment, but a spark of lightning shined through the window-blinds, a loud clap of thunder followed soon after, and he quickly scurried up the stairs after Dib.

Dib was staring at one of his t-shirts, fresh out of the dryer, with more than a little doubt, when Zim burst into the laundry room and slammed the door behind him. "Whoa, keep it down!" Dib scolded him in a hushed voice. "I guarantee you'll have more to worry about than a little thunder and lightning if you wake Gaz up!"

"Your sister may be scary, but she does not have the power to send volts of electricity crashing from the sky onto my head!"

"Okay, I would NOT bet money on that." Dib countered very seriously, tossing the too-big t-shirt onto the top of the dryer. Then he reached up into the shelves just above, pulling out a small stack of folded clothes. "I already got rid of all of my clothes from elementary and middle school, those were probably the only ones that would have fit you. None of my pants will fit at all, but maybe one of these shirts will stay on."

He pulled out a shirt from the stack and handed it to Zim, who looked at it just as doubtfully. "This will not fit!" He declared right away with a sneer.

Dib glared. "Either that, or you can sleep in your wet, cold clothes all night. Ungrateful little prick..." He grumbled under his breath.

Zim growled back and shoved him out of the laundry room. "Begone! Zim must change!"

Dib rolled his eyes and obeyed wordlessly, waiting outside until Zim emerged a few minutes later, and when he did, Dib couldn't help but stare. He'd taken off his wig and contacts as well as his clothes. The shirt Dib had picked was the only one that would stay on Zim at all, but it was still incredibly baggy and was almost slipping off of his shoulders. The hem of the shirt at least was modest enough, and almost reached to his knees. Which was good, because Zim wasn't wearing any pants.

Dib couldn't help but wonder if he was wearing underwear too, but he of course wasn't about to ask him that. Instead he headed to the linen cabinet and searched for an extra blanket.

However, though the Membrane's had various world leaders over for dinner on some occasions, they'd never actually had a sleepover guest before. There was one old, scratchy blanket behind the towels, but as Dib pulled it out it became apparent that most of it had been eaten by moths long ago.

Zim growled and turned his back on the pitiful offering right away. "Forget that! I'll just sleep in your bed."

"Wha-Hey, wait!" Dib protested, following after the alien who had already barged his way into the teenager's room.

"UGH!" The alien immediately exclaimed as he opened the door. Dib's room wasn't filthy at all, but it was definitely cluttered, with all his books and tapes and various paranormal equipment. "I can't believe you actually sleep in here! Oh well..." He sighed, stepping over a few obstacles to get to the bed, then hopping on top of it. "Zim claims this bed in the name of the mighty Irken Empire!"

Dib sighed and reluctantly began shuffling a few of the stray books away from the side of the bed with his foot. But then he stopped, took a steely breath, and grumbled to himself, "Wait, what am I doing? Move over you little green punk!" He demanded, flopping down on the bed next to Zim.

Said green punk immediately began to shove back at the intruding human, until a flash of light crashed down with a deafening boom. It was the closest one yet, and it filled up Dib's window with jagged lines of electricity. Then Zim suddenly went from trying to push Dib away, to grabbing onto his shoulders for dear life.

Dib's heart skipped a beat as the shaking alien pressed his head against his chest. At first the human was stiff, but then he slowly reached up and placed a hand on Zim's shoulder. His skin was smooth, and cool to the touch, leading Dib to comment, "You're cold... Here, get under the blankets, it'll warm you up."

He held up the corner of the blanket, but Zim sniffed it distrustfully. "Eugh! It smells like you!"

"Gee, I wonder why." Dib deadpanned back at him. "Just do it, you jerk! Either that or you can sleep on the couch."

Zim glared at him but reluctantly shifted himself to get under the blankets. As he did so, Dib's shirt rode up a bit, revealing the bottom hem of what he was wearing underneath. It was a weirdly familiar magenta color with purple stripes, and it really bugged Dib. Why was that pattern so familiar...?

Suddenly Dib gasped loudly as it hit him like a brick. "OH MY GOD-!" He clamped his hand down over his mouth to hold back the burst of muffled laughter that followed.

Zim looked back at him and growled. "What are you laughing about, Dib-pig?!"

"Zim-Oh god-Zim, you-!" Dib very nearly tumbled over the side of the bed, holding onto his aching side. "You're wearing Gaz's boy-shorts!" He finally managed to spit out.

Zim's eyes went wide and a deep red blush dusted his green cheeks. "WHAT?! Th-These are not male human boxer shorts-?!" He asked in a bit of a panic.

Zim shoved at the human, bothered by his laughing, which caused Dib to lose his balance and fall off the bed this time. Dib struggled to sit back up and answer, "No! Dude, you're wearing my sister's panties right now!"

Dib let out another roar of uncontrolled laughter, until Gaz herself suddenly opened her door and screamed across the hall at them, "Shut UP, Dib! If you keep making so much noise I'm going to put pregnant, venomous spiders in your ear again!"

Dib choked on his laugh as it was replaced with dread, and he immediately calmed himself. "S-Sorry, Gaz! I'm shutting up now!" He told her, clearing his throat to get out the last of the chuckles.

The two of them waited in total silence for a few minutes after that, making sure that Gaz had gone back to sleep. Then Dib finally spoke up again in a whisper, "So, um, why were you gonna wear my boxers...?"

"My pants were wet!" Zim countered with a growl.

"What, your underwear was soaked too?"

"Irkens do not wear underwears, Zim thought your boxer SHORTS were what they are actually named, SHORTS!" Zim returned in exasperation.

Dib's eyes went as wide as they'd ever been. Well, that was certainly -interesting-. "Uh, Zim... There's a difference between regular shorts and boxer shorts, you know..."

"Yeah, I just figured that out, stupid..." Zim replied testily and with a slightly sickened expression. Making his way under the covers, Zim reached down and fumbled around. Dib watched him from the side of the bed with a raised brow and blushing cheeks. Then his eyes went wide as Zim pulled his hands out with Gaz's underwear, and threw them across the room by the door. "There, that's better."

Dib of course couldn't just completely ignore the fact that Zim was now in his bed, NAKED, except for his t-shirt. But he couldn't bring himself to bring it up, either. That was a a slippery slope Dib was just -not- going to slide down. Instead he turned his back from the bed and settled down on the floor. "Alright, well, goodnight." He told Zim in a quick and quiet mumble.

"You're not going to sleep in your bed?" Zim inquired innocently.

Dib sighed deeply and rolled his eyes, and replied just as quickly, "No, it's fine, goodnight."

The room was quiet for a few moments, which turned into half an hour. Finally Zim spoke up, "Dib? Are you still awake?"

He was, of course - The floor was not exactly the most comfy place to try to get some rest, especially when you had a long, crooked spine like Dib's. "Yeah. What is it." He answered blandly.

Zim was still quiet for a moment, so Dib sat up to look at him over the edge of the bed with a curious expression. Finally the alien spoke up again, "Zim was told... That after Hi Skool, most children move away from their parent's home and go elsewhere. Where are you going to go?"

Dib stared at him for a moment, then sadly looked away. "Well... I'd like to go to a college for parasciences, but my dad already let me know it's not gonna happen unless I pay for it myself. HE wants me to go to the college he went to, some fancy stuck-up Ivy League joint, and if I do he'll pay for the whole thing, but..." He suddenly sighed, irritably and defiantly. "Fuck that! If I have to flip burgers to make my way, I will..." He didn't sound exactly enthralled by the idea, though.

Zim didn't seem any more excited than he was at the idea. "So, either way, you're going to leave..."

Dib blinked in surprised at his tone, and looked over at the Irken, who was staring out the window. "I... Well, there IS a lot of pressure to... I know my dad isn't just going to let me loaf around here when Hi Skool is done..." He shrugged. "And I don't exactly have anywhere else to go until I find a job, so..."

"Live with Zim..."

Dib turned his head towards the alien immediately, blinking like an owl. "What?"

Zim finally looked back at him, the color in his cheeks growing. "Come live with me. If you don't have to worry about rent, you can save up more money for the college you want to go to."

"I..." Dib was a little flabbergasted by the unexpectedly generous offer, and he opened and closed his mouth several times before words finally found him. "That's... Really nice of you, Zim, but... Well, why?"

Zim looked away again, bunching up the bed-sheets in his claws. "...Zim will be bored, and lonely, without Dib around..." He finally admitted, so silent that Dib barely caught on to him at all.

But he did, and he stared, pondering the implications. He was quite touched by Zim's admission, but there was always more to life than just what you wanted, and sometimes, it could cause serious disruptions in your life to want too much. "I... I'd miss you too." He responded at last, crossing his arms over the top of the mattress and laying his head down on top of them. "But it's not as simple as all that..."

"Why not?" Zim inquired petulantly.

"Well..." Dib began, unsure. "It's just... People might get weird ideas about us if we moved in together..."

"People get weird ideas about us all the time." Zim pointed out, getting bored now.

"Yeah, but, they might get... WEIRDER ideas." Dib countered vaguely.

And getting bored always pissed ZIm off and made him want to liven things up. "What, that we're homosexuals and are secretly mating with each other? Don't tell me you didn't know they were already saying that about us years ago."

Dib's face went entirely red, and he stared for a few seconds before managing to answer, "W-Well, I didn't know YOU knew about them saying that, or if you even understood it. Do you? And for that matter," Dib took a nervous breath before going on, "I mean - Are you even male, like me, in the first place...?" He could barely bring himself to say it, but he did, and it did make Zim look surprised - But just for a second, and then he put on his usual arrogant air of superiority again.

"Am I male? Yes. Like you? No." He answered simply, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dib raised an eyebrow at that, too curious to deny. "Care to expand on that...?"

Zim glared, "What about YOU, Dib? Care to tell me everything about YOUR genitalia?"

Dib's blush didn't fade, but he smirked smugly as he answered, "To be honest Zim, it's actually quite normal for young human males to compare their genitalia. So if you're proposing 'You show me yours, I'll show you mine', well, I'm not about to back down from a challenge..."

That put the spotlight back on Zim quickly, and the alien looked more shocked than ever at the suggestion. "Ugh, you filthy-minded monkey!" He groaned. "As you said, it's not that simple!"

"Why not?" Dib countered, his smirk spreading into a grin. He wasn't sure how serious he could continue to take this if Zim called him out, but Dib was reasonably sure Zim was going to get too embarrassed to deal with and tap out first.

He was sort of right, though not in the way he expected, as Zim averted the subject by asking, "Are you even a homosexual like the other kids always said you were? You did date that one hideous female that one time, what was her name - Gretchel?"

"Gretchen..." Dib corrected with a groan of his own this time. Man, that had to be the most awkward three weeks of his entire life, and that was saying something. "I like both males and females, can we just leave it at that?" He answered in a rush, not liking the taste of his own medicine.

"Oh, I don't think so." Zim answered, enjoying the pressure that was now on the Dib-worm. "Because I know the way your giant head works better than anybody. No, it would never be just males and females with YOU, Dib - So what's your secret thing, huh? Is it the Bigfeet? Vampires? VAMPIRE BIGFEET, HMM?"

"God no..." Dib rolled his eyes at the theatrics. "And really, I don't think you wanna know..."

"Zim would not have asked if he didn't want to know. NOW TELL ZIIIIIM..." He demanded, shaking his fist.

"You DON'T want to know." Dib insisted stubbornly.

Zim abruptly reached over grabbed both sides of Dib's head, and leaned in close to growl at him menacingly. "You WILL tell Zim your secrets!"

Dib stared silently into those glaring magenta-red eyes, pondering the possibilities. If Zim really wanted to know, maybe he SHOULD tell him. In fact, Dib suddenly realized, it was really the only sensible thing to do, considering Zim was proposing they move in together. He ought to know the whole truth about the situation before committing to that.

Quickly, before he lost his nerve, Dib leaned in the rest of the way, and pressed his pale pink lips to Zim's darker green.

To Dib's immediate regret, Zim pulled away almost at once with a deeply shocked gasp. Dib stared at his face, trying to read what he was feeling, but except for the shock, it was nearly blank. At first there was no hint of a smile, which made Dib's throat feel tight with shame and fear. But Dib could also see that there was no betrayal in his eyes, either, and that gave his plummeting heart some small hope.

Two white hot flashes struct down right next to each other and at the same time, and their light behind Zim made the outline of his form stand out in the darkness of the rest of the room. Just before the titanic twins roared into the night, Dib heard Zim whisper, "Finally! Stupid stink-beast, I thought you were NEVER gonna-"

Zim dove onto the human as he was interrupted by the booming thunder, grabbing him by the forearms and pinning them to the sides of his head on the floor, before tilting his head and capturing his lips. Dib barely resisted his bondage, and obeyed without any protest when Zim's serpentine tongue demanded entrance. The human's stubby tongue was then helplessly entwined by the superior, dexterous Irken appendage.

And Dib really could not care less. He just focused on remembering to breathe for the moment as Zim's tongue completely dominated his, squeezing the shorter, fatter appendage in a snake-like bind. Dib didn't know if Zim had ever heard of the old "tying a cherry stem in a knot" challenge, but he'd probably find it to be ridiculously easy.

Both of them were thoroughly caught up the passionate moment, but it was only for a moment, and then suddenly Zim did pull away again, hissing in pain and wiping his tongue off on Dib's sleeve, "Ow, ow, ow! CURSES! I forgot about your gross human germs for a second! Ugh..." He finally resorted to spitting out the excess human saliva right on Dib's floor without shame, and Dib still couldn't bring himself to care. In fact he wasn't even paying attention to it, something else entirely had his mind ensnared.

Zim was sitting on his groin, and having jumped off the bed, he left the blanket behind too. Dib could see the only part of Zim he hadn't seen before, between them now. It looked mostly similar to his tongue, wormy and skinnier at the end, and moving about as if it had a will of it's own. But it was the same tone of green that the rest of his skin was, and it was obviously thicker than his tongue too.

Dib didn't hear Zim as he went on, "You need to start drinking REALLY purified water, not that crap that comes poisoned by the same plastic bottle it's packaged in! Hey, are you listening?" Zim glared down at him as he realized not, and where his attention actually was. He suddenly blushed deeply, even more so as he felt the human member he was sitting on began to twitch in response.

Dib at least answered honestly, "Not really, no. Except, I'm realizing that you probably won't let me give you oral until it won't burn if I do so, and that is a real damn shame..." He smirked devilishly up at his new foe-turned-beau.

Zim had just slurped his tongue back into his mouth, and almost choked on it as he heard what Dib had just said. "Y-You want to, s-service Zim-?!" He blurted out in utter shock and a more than a bit of confusion. Zim didn't know that much about Irken sexuality himself, but he HAD heard of such a practice before, and he knew that it was supposed to be considered something that, if one performed it, meant you were lowering yourself in humility below the other, so it was generally unheard of for a taller Irken to perform on a shorter one. It was definitely servile, but it also indicated a tremendous amount of trust between the two who shared the experience as well.

There was no doubt anymore to the trust. They'd both slowly changed over the years and hadn't actively tried to really kill one another in a long time. And not that the silly human notion of 'love' had anything to do with Irken sexuality, but there was obviously at least some of that present as well. Zim certainly couldn't even hope to deny the rush it gave him, the thrill that went down his spine at the thought that Dib, a being that was a whole -forty- centimeters taller than him, was willing and wanting to perform on him.

He found his insides squirming and growing uncomfortably hot at the suggestion, but he quickly pinched his arm to calm himself down. "EXCEPT, y-you would NOT, because it WOULD burn!" He quickly saved.

Dib had never quit smiling, and he sat up so that he was face-to-face with the Irken. "Yeah, I -would-. But you're right, it'll have to wait... Buuut, this doesn't have to." He mentioned slyly, reaching with his right hand in between them and grasping the alien member.

Zim gasped sharply and grabbed onto Dib's shoulders with both hands, rocking against his hips against him involuntarily. He was strongly tempted to give in to the amazing waves of pleasure that the simple act had inspired, but he instead quickly commanded the human, "Wait, STOP. There's something you need to know first, Dib!"

Dib stilled his slowly stroking hand, and raised a curious eyebrow. "What is it?"

Zim blushed deeply and looked to the side. "It's just... Earlier, when you said you liked both sexes... Well, that's actually a good thing, because... I AM both..." He admitted at last, holding his breath for Dib's reaction.

"Wha-No way! Seriously?" Dib exclaimed in fascination. He suddenly grinned like a wolf, a bit of his selfish and obsessive old self taking over for a moment as the overwhelming curiosity consumed him. Rolling Zim off of him and re-positioning himself on top, he then reached for each of Zim's knees, pulling his legs apart so he could see for himself.

Zim stared at Dib's expression almost as curiously as Dib stared at him, both of them taken over by awe. Zim's squee skipped a beat as Dib gazed at his most intimate parts, as if he were looking at something completely beautiful and inspiring. There were some on Irk who would consider him a freak for what he was.

Without realizing it, except for the tightening sensations in his core, Zim was reacting to Dib's amazed stare. Dib watched at the slit just below Zim's penis began to flutter, and then open slightly, like a strange sort of flower blooming. The outer lips of his female sex were the same green flesh color as the rest of his skin and penis, but as they opened up, Dib could see that the inside turned into a purplish-red and then a deep red color, like his tongue and mouth.

One of Dib's hands began to slowly slide down from Zim's knee to his inner thigh, but Zim finally got his brain back in order and quickly slipped both of his hands over his genitals. "BUUUT, I do NOT want you touching the female parts!"

Dib couldn't hide his disappointment and confusion, "We don't have to if you really don't want to, but... Well, why not?"

Zim chewed on his bottom lip. That was actually a very good question, and from how his inner core was now burning insistently, almost gnawing at him with it's deep ache, he didn't actually have a good enough answer for it. "B-Because, it will - I mean, it might..." But he couldn't even bring himself to say 'hurt', because it was the furthest feeling from him at the current moment.

"I won't touch you there if you don't want me to." Dib repeated evenly. "It's just, aren't you curious about it...?" Dib couldn't help but think it'd be pretty neat to find out what it was like to be able to experience having both sexes.

Until this point in his life, Zim actually hadn't been. He had looked and poked at his male member before, but his female parts were almost entirely ignored. This was because, despite Zim telling a few humans in jest that he would lay eggs in them, he actually didn't have this capability. His male organs were the complete ones, though his testicles were inside of his body, his female parts were only half-formed. They had never demanded his attention except for the occasional cramp... Until now.

Now, it felt as if something inside of him was clawing to get out, though strangely in only the best way possible. "I... I-It, um, well..." Zim stammered for a moment, then suddenly snarled in deep frustration, and took his hands back. "You WILL stop if I tell you to, WHEN I tell you to!"

Dib's lips stretched into a huge grin. "I swear I will... IF you actually do tell me to stop." He added slyly, before reaching between the alien's legs once more.

Zim closed his eyes and braced himself. The fear of getting caught breaking taboo was left behind on Irk, but he was acutely aware that although superior breeder-quality females would never be considered anything but worthy of the utmost respect for doing something like this, he was not one of them and would never be. In fact, he was sure that if they found out about what he was doing with Dib, they would kill him.

The exact opposite would actually be the case - His species would be nothing but grateful for the distraction Dib provided, as long as Zim continued to stay far away from them. But Zim didn't know that, and the thought made him tense.

Dib could sense his tenseness and, on second thought, he bypassed the part of Zim's body that he knew was causing it. Instead put his hand back on Zim's male member, which wriggled in Dib's hands as he wrapped his fingers around it and squeezed it against his palm.

"Ooh-!" Zim moaned shortly, quickly clamping his hands over his mouth. He hadn't wished to disrupt the Gaz-beast to begin with, but especially not now.

Dib kneaded his palm against the underside of Zim's male part, which was quickly becoming less squirmy and more rigid as he did so. As amazing as it felt though, it only increased the incessant need Zim was feeling, which in turn only made Zim confused and annoyed. So he began to inquire, "D-Dib, I thought you were going to-NN, AAH-!"

Dib had forgotten about that for a moment, but as soon as Zim had begun bringing it up, he reached down with his spare hand and began to gently prod his index finger at the red inner-core of Zim's entrance. Seeing Zim's reaction, he immediately dug the solitary digit in further, up to his knuckle, his own cock aching at how Zim's body immediate clamped down on his finger, squeezing tight enough to trap him there for a second.

"Nn, nnnn..." Zim continued to moan helplessly, now biting down on his lips to stifle the noises he couldn't help but make. But it soon became just as futile as the rest of his attempts as Dib slipped the first digit out and re-entered with two, crooking his fingers up slightly and rubbing against the inner wall.

Dib wasn't sure if that was going to work the same way it did on a human female, and it didn't, but it was close enough. It just happened to be the case that Zim's testicles were just on the other side of the thin wall Dib was rubbing at, and it caused a sudden jolt to go through Zim's spine, and a gush of fluids to run down Dib's fingers and onto his hand.

Zim was almost about to let out a too-loud scream, but it caught in his throat and instead he gasped as it felt like the air had just gotten knocked out of him. A new need came over him in an instant and he obeyed it it without thinking twice about it - He was too far gone to give any thought to why these strange things were making him feel so good.

Zim reached up, and grabbed the bases of each antenna between his two longer fingers, gasping mindlessly as it immediately sent him over the edge. One last tidal wave of endorphins crashed down on his head and through his spine, and he squeezed down on Dib's fingers as his cock began to pulse.

Dib watched him, mouth agape and painfully erect as Zim's body contracted on his fingers and in his hand, silent as he watched the milky-pinkish fluid spurt forth onto his hands. After taking in a few gasps to calm the pounding of his heart, Dib closed his mouth and bit down on his bottom lip to keep it closed, and slowly began to withdraw his hands.

Reaching over to his nightstand, Dib retrieved a few paper tissues to clean off the fluids on his hands, watching with unblinking eyes as Zim still struggled to regain his breath. Too curious to resist, he had to ask, "So, how was it?"

Zim didn't answer verbally right away, but he cracked an eye open. Half of his tongue was hanging out of his mouth, which Dib thought looked ridiculously cute. Finally the alien let out a short sigh of relief, and hummed in thought as he answered seriously, "Well... It was definitely better than -waffles-, but I'm not sure if it was better than -donuts-..."

Dib snickered, "That actually sounds pretty accurate..." He replied, then shifted uncomfortably from where he was sitting, his back against the side of his bed. His pants hadn't grown any less tight, and it was hard to ignore.

Zim noticed his actions, and the bulge was hard to miss as well, even in Dib's dark black jeans. "Hm... I guess I -should- return the favor..." He mumbled reluctantly, almost too tired to want to bother.

Dib snorted and rolled his eyes. "I can take care of it this time, if you're too wiped out..." He replied just as reluctantly, reaching down between his legs and beginning to unbutton and unzip his jeans.

Zim rolled over onto his stomach and propped his head up in his hands, watching him without offering to participate at first. He didn't feel like taking the bait that the silly human was trying to reel him in with, not yet, anyways. He was curious as to what the human would do without him first.

He'd actually just planned on putting his hands down his pants, but when Zim made it obvious he was going to make this a 'spectator sport', it inspired a hidden inclination towards exhibitionism in the young man, and he decided he didn't really mind indulging them both. Pulling his loosened jeans and blue boxers down just far enough beneath his hips to free his hardened cock, Dib immediately took himself in his dominant hand and began to stroke, slow but firm.

Zim's eyes went a little wide at first, staring as Dib rolled his thumb over that strange, bulbous head. Man, human penises were -ugly-. Irkens were clearly superior in this area too. It looked like a caveman's club - Could you even do anything with that thing besides beat someone with it? Even as he thought that though, Zim's innards told him with a sharp ache that the idea wasn't entirely unappealing to him.

Zim's cheeks went pink and he chased away the thought, his attention returning to Dib as he reached down to gently squeeze his testicles. Zim's eyes drooped lustily as Dib screwed his shut, biting his lip to restrain a moan.

When Dib opened his eyes again, he gasped to find that Zim had gotten up onto his knees and approached him, his face now mere inches away from Dib's. The human gasped sharply and then groaned as he felt Zim's long, slender hand wrap around his sensitive member. Then the alien leaned in against Dib's neck and shoulder, taking a mouthful of the human's flesh in between his teeth as his hand copied what Dib's was doing seconds before.

"Aaah..." Dib breathed out in a shudder, letting his head fall back against the bed behind him. Zim ground his teeth none-too-gently against the human's flesh until it was almost too much, and then he released him just long enough to flick his tongue over the sensitive bruise he'd left behind. The alien smirked at his handiwork - The human's skin looked so much better in that purplish shade, and it was fun to know that he had caused it. Irkens liked to mark what they claimed as their own.

After slathering the bruise with saliva, Zim blew a cool breath onto it, causing a powerful shiver to wrack the human's spine. Dib bit down on his tongue and then nudged Zim's hand away, taking his member into his own hand again. Getting the hint, Zim moved back a few feet.

The Irken watched in fascination as Dib's hand quickened, pumping his engorged member until the human finally let out a short, strained groan as his hand suddenly stilled. The pearly white stream of fluids leaked over Dib's fingers as he gasped, his face red from the exertion, until the tidal wave of his orgasm pulsed away to a gentle ebb.

After that an uncomfortable silence followed between them, neither of them sure just what else to say. Finally Zim cleared his throat and reached over for a few more tissues, handing some to Dib. After cleaning the mess he'd made and discarding the used tissue into his wastebasket, Dib tucked himself back into his pants and zipped them back up.

"So..." The human began awkwardly. "Does your offer still stand? The one about us moving in together, I mean?"

Zim nodded with a lazy smile. "As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to have to insist on it."

Dib grinned and reached over, throwing an arm around Zim's shoulder and pulling him in close, kissing his cheek. Zim allowed him to do so, although he let out an irritated growl to make sure the affection was as short as it was sweet. Then Dib pulled back and pointed behind him with his thumb at the bed. "Call it a night?"

Zim gave him a funny look. "What else would we call it?"

Dib shrugged, "The beginning of the rest of our lives? Pft, who cares. I need sleep, now." He demanded briskly, gathering the much lighter male in his arms as he got up from his sitting position.

He laid the glaring little green man down on his mattress, and then climbed in to bed next to him, nudging him over when he wouldn't immediately share the space. Zim sighed irritably, but then he relented, shifting onto his side and scooting back a space until Dib fit in comfortably next to him.

"We're going to need to get a bigger bed if you insist on these kind of sleeping arrangements." The alien mentioned as he nuzzled his head against his human's warm chest.

"As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to HAVE to insist on it." Dib echoed back at him with a smirk and a kiss to the forehead, which Zim irritably wiped off right away.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The sun came shining through Dib's window the next morning. Zim growled at it, digging his head further against Dib's chest to block out the rays. Neither of them felt inclined to get out their warm bed just yet, and neither of them remembered just yet why they'd have any reason to.

Gaz emerged from the laundry room in confusion. She knew for a fact that she'd washed her favorite boy-shorts in the last batch of laundry. Dib's door was just slightly ajar, so she pushed it open, "Dib, have you seen my-"

She looked down at the floor, just inside her brother's room. All the warmth therein suddenly left, and the rays of the morning sun was blocked out by unnaturally-shaped shadows. "DIB... WHAT THE -HELL- ARE MY -PANTIES- DOING IN YOUR ROOM?!"

Dib quickly planted a kiss on Zim's lips. "Well, nice knowing you, Zim. There's no one else I'd rather be doomed next to."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


End file.
